
Your Kids Will Survive If…
How many of us second guess our parenting every day? How many of us go to bed feeling guilty or inadequate? The madness has got to stop!
I talk to awesome parents every day who think they are failing at this whole parenting thing. They aren’t – and you aren’t either. We are all doing the best we can.
So, as a homage to my fellow doubters, I am here to remind you that –
Your kids will survive if…
1. They are illiterate in baby sign language
2. Their baby food doesn’t come puréed from a blender
3. Their milk is the powdered variety
4. Their diapers are disposable
5. They are not reading by three
6. They go to bed dirty
7. They know how to operate a remote, but can barely walk
8. They eat a treat before a meal
9. You lose your cool
10. They don’t go to a mommy and me class
11. They know your mommy is pissed face
12. The park isn’t their second home
13. They aren’t speaking a foreign language by five
14. They haven’t experienced the happiest place on earth
15. You don’t constantly set up play dates
16. They have to clean up their toys
17. They don’t have a cellphone by six
18. Your house looks like a bomb went off
19. Your meals sometimes come with microwavable directions
20. Your child calls chicken nuggets, McNuggets
21. They know you have bad days too
22. They are told no – often
23. They think a pad is something they download apps on
24. They don’t RSVP “yes” to every birthday invitation
25. There are consequences for their actions
26. You are not their constant playmate
27. They know you make mistakes too
28. They hate vegetables and (so do you)
29. They don’t have a birthday party that costs as much as a car payment
30. They have their own profile on Netflix
31. They aren’t solving algebraic equations by eight
32. They never score a goal or a touchdown
33. They don’t get everything on their Christmas list
34. They hate homework and (secretly so do you)
35. They learn the word “laundry machine”
36. They are deprived of $100 shoes
37. They understand that you are not a waitress, maid or slave
38. They are not scheduled with activities from dawn to dusk
39. You work and can’t volunteer in their class
40. You think the idea of being friends with other moms sounds like torture
41. You are not their best friend
42. They don’t think you are cool
43. They don’t have wheels at sixteen
44. They don’t have a sweet sixteen party that rivals a wedding
45. They don’t know that jeans and purses can cost over $100 dollars
46. They have an earlier curfew than all of their friends
47. They think manicure is horse poop
48. You know the password to all their devices
49. They have to put two pieces of bread together and make their own lunch
50. You are human too
Do you have a #51 – let’s get a list going. Leave your #51 in the comments below.
Do you know someone who needs to read a list like this? Send them some SOS love and share this article with them.