It is already tough trying to help our kids with anxiety or OCD, but it is even harder stomaching unhelpful comments and advice.
OCD loves to tell our kids that they’ll ruin things. Maybe it tells them that they’ll ruin a vacation or special occasion. Maybe it tells them that they’ll ruin their favorite belongings. Or maybe it tells them that they’ll ruin their favorite song or show. It doesn’t matter. It’s all the same in the end.
Hidden Superpowers in Kids with OCD
Nobody wants OCD. It can be an overwhelming, debilitating condition. But there are some common strengths in people who have OCD. While learning to crush OCD, it is important that we also celebrate our children’s attributes that make them amazing. Often we miss these things and forget to notice the aspects of our kids that make them wonderful.
OCD will use everything in its power to keep you growing it, including facts. If we search, we can find literally any fact to support OCD’s lies. OCD will often take a fact and exaggerate the risk. OCD will take a fact and scare you into doing more compulsions. OCD will take facts to prove it is right.
The math is simple. The more compulsions our kids do, the bigger their OCD will grow. And yet, OCD can make it feel more complicated in their head. It can make them go to the mental gym weighing out the dangers. It can make them calculate the risks. It can make them believe that their safety or even their identity is at risk.
So how do they stop fueling their OCD? First, they should learn what things are compulsions. Kids (and parents) often miss compulsions that only consist of avoidance, accommodations or mental activities. Second, they need to build their muscles to not fuel their OCD. The best way to reduce OCD is to cut off the fuel line. That can take time, patience and perseverance – but it is the sure fire way to reduce OCD symptoms in the long-term.
Getting relief from OCD is not rocket science. OCD is driven by intrusive thoughts that make our kids want to do compulsions. These compulsions can be mental, physical or even just avoidance. The more they do these compulsions, the more their discomfort grows, the more intrusive thoughts they have. OCD is predictable in that way. No matter what thoughts or OCD themes they have, this pattern exists. The only way to break out of this pattern is to have them see the illusions OCD is feeding them and disrupt the pattern that OCD wants them to follow.
It is important for all kids to learn how to advocate for themselves. It is an especially important skill for kids with anxiety or OCD. Many of us feel like we have to go to bat for our kids with anxiety and OCD over and over again. But often we forget the important aspect of pulling back over time to teach our kids how to advocate for themselves. Self-advocacy builds self-esteem and empowerment. It helps kids learn that they have a voice. We can teach our kids to advocate for themselves in simple steps. In this week’s AT Parenting Survival Podcast I talk about the ingredients to self-advocacy and how to build those skills one step at a time.
OCD can make our kids worry about all sorts of things. OCD comes in many disguises and themes. Harm OCD themes are often missed or misunderstood. In this week’s Youtube video I talk to kids and teens about what harm OCD themes look like and what they can do to get some OCD relief around this type of theme.
OCD exposures, ERP (Exposure Response Prevention), is the go-to strategy when working on OCD. But what if exposures don’t seem to be helping? In this week’s Youtube video I talk about one of the most common reasons why OCD exposures don’t work and what to do to make this OCD approach more effective.
The fear of throwing up is a common anxiety. In fact it is one of the most common anxiety themes I saw in my therapy practice. Emetophobia, the fear of throwing up, impacts many people. But most people suffering from the fear of throwing up get this one thing wrong. They work hard on convincing themselves that they won’t throw up. Unfortunately, that only serves to grow Emetophobia more. In this week’s Youtube video I talk to kids and teens about how to get relief from Emetophobia by outsmarting their anxiety and not falling for the trap that will grow it bigger.
Often when our kids have OCD intrusive thoughts the first thing they do is try to get those intrusive thoughts out of their head. They might do what OCD wants them to do. They might try to not think about it. They might debate, argue and fight OCD. Or they might try to come up with a practical solution to the problem OCD is presenting. The issue with all of those OCD solutions is that they are all based on the validity of what OCD is saying. When they take the OCD intrusive thought seriously, they are already hooked into OCD. In this Youtube video I talk to kids and teens about how to not get hooked into OCD’s lies from the start!
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