Your child screams, “I hate you!” She rolls her eyes and tells you, “No!” You feel your composure slipping away as she spits out her final words. In one fell swoop she has made you feel enraged and completely ineffective. You wonder, where did I go wrong? And why on earth does she feel she can talk back to me?
You tell your child to pick up their clothes and they crumble to the ground. “Why are you shouting at me!” They exclaim. Seriously? You just asked them to pick up their clothes. It seems like you can’t even redirect your anxious kid without them imploding. So what are you supposed to do? Not discipline? Walk on eggshells? Is that helpful or hurtful to them long-term?
Consequences not working? Are you pulling your hair out wondering why your consequences aren’t working? You are not alone. This is the most popular complaint I hear in my therapy practice. “We’ve tried everything.” I am told. “Nothing works.” Usually, as we dig further, this just isn’t the case. Delivering effective consequences can be a major challenge. Kids are tuned into every crack and inconsistency. […]