In my home I have become somewhat of a detective. When my kids are angry, impulsive, hostile or defiant – there is also some pretty big anxiety or OCD hiding underneath. I have learned how to decode my child’s difficult behaviors in order to get to the heart of the matter.
Your child screams, “I hate you!” She rolls her eyes and tells you, “No!” You feel your composure slipping away as she spits out her final words. In one fell swoop she has made you feel enraged and completely ineffective. You wonder, where did I go wrong? And why on earth does she feel she can talk back to me?
Consequences not working? Are you pulling your hair out wondering why your consequences aren’t working? You are not alone. This is the most popular complaint I hear in my therapy practice. “We’ve tried everything.” I am told. “Nothing works.” Usually, as we dig further, this just isn’t the case. Delivering effective consequences can be a major challenge. Kids are tuned into every crack and inconsistency. […]