3 Ways to Stop Whining and Baby Talk Dead in Its Tracks. Wouldn’t That be Nice?
Do you wonder how to stop whining behavior?
“But mama I no want to go…” your child pleads with you, his bottom lip puffed out for effect.
“You have to go,” you firmly state.
“Noooo. I don’t wannnnt toooo!” Your child whines.
You know what will happen next. You’ve done this dance before. And frankly, you are tired of dancing.
You want your child to stop whining. You want your child to talk like he isn’t still in diapers. You can’t stomach anymore baby talk and the whining is slowly crushing your soul. “Make it stop!” You scream silently in your head.
For some of us, whining and baby talk is equivalent to nails on a chalkboard. Frankly, for me whining and baby talk are far worse.
So how do you get those little mouths to stop generating so much verbal torture?
#1) If you want to stop whining, go “whining deaf.”
Kids are smart. They are constantly watching our patterns and collecting data. When they wear us down, they pay attention to what delivered the final blow. Was it my whining? My constant nagging? Was it the way I followed her from room to room?
You can help by giving your child some new “data.” Data that makes them think, Hmmm. She completely ignores me when I whine or use baby talk.
We create the patterns. We create the behavior. If you want to stop problematic behavior, change your reaction.
When your child starts to puff out that lip, instead of telling them to “stop whining,” tell them, “from now on my ears can’t hear whining or baby talk. If you want to talk to me you are going to have to use a big boy voice.”
The key is to then not respond when he inevitably continues to whine. The proof is in the pudding. If you say you won’t respond and then you do – your actions will speak louder than your words.
Give your child a reminder if they continue their verbal torture, “My ears can’t hear you, try again.”
#2) If you want to stop whining, show them how it’s done.
If you allowed your child to whine and baby talk for years, they might seriously not know how to communicate their needs in any other way.
You can help your child by talking for them. So, instead of saying things like “stop whining,” you might just have to model it instead. It would look something like this:
Little person implementing verbal torture: “I waaaannnnnnt it nooooow!”
You: “Can I have it please?”
Little person implementing 2nd round of torture: “I waaaaannnnt it!”
You: “Can I have it please?”
You can continue to reflect how you want your child to talk until they respond back with the big boy version.
The key here is to not respond to the request until your child re-asks the question in the more appropriate way.
#3) If you want to stop whining, stop giving them a big reaction.
Do you want to know how to get your child to do more annoying behavior? Give them a big reaction. Yup. I know, that makes no sense, but it is true.
Kids don’t have much power in this relationship with you. They have limited options when it comes to exerting control. They can refuse to eat, refuse to poop and fall to the floor in a puddle, but that’s about it.
When you give them a big reaction you let your 3-foot little person know that they have some big power in that little body. You let them know that they can make you very angry. Make you crumble. Make you lose control.
That’s a lot of power.
It is nice to empower your child, but you don’t want to empower them that way.
When your child is whining, avoid screaming and losing your cool. For many kids, you are actually sending a message that says, “I think she’s about to lose it.” Which can mean one of two things:
#1 – She’s about to cave. No human can withstand this much torture.
#2 – She isn’t going to give me what I want, but at least I am taking her down with me.
Now obviously, kids don’t stay up late plotting and planning your demise or how they are going to implement their torture, but it can feel that way. These thoughts and behaviors are happening on automatic pilot and your child is probably not even consciously aware of how this is working – but you should be.
Have you ever noticed how your kids don’t use that obnoxious baby talk or whining with every person they encounter? No, they might save that glorious behavior just for you.
Do you know why?
They are getting something from it.
So, ask yourself, “What am I giving them?”
Is it attention?
Is it what they want?
Is it anger?
Whatever it is, stop doing it and you’ll stop whining in your home forever. Ahhh, wouldn’t that be nice?
Do you have some tips on how to stop whining or baby talk? Share in the comments below. Do you know someone who is trying to stop whining or baby talk (or should be)? Share this article with them.
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