Do you want to know what all good parents have in common?
Why do so many of us walk around doubting our parenting skills? Second guessing our every move? We are bombarded with other people’s opinions and criticisms. Opinions and judgment that makes good parents feel bad.
I have had the privilege of meeting wonderful families in my practice. Good parents who are rocking their parenting skills. What’s their magic? Probably not what you think.
Amazing parenting skills aren’t about what you do, it is what you believe. No matter what parenting philosophies each of these parents have –
Good parents have these four beliefs in common:
They trust themselves to make parenting decisions that are right for their children
Being in tune with your parental gut instinct is so important. You know your children better than anyone else, better than the doctors, therapists and teachers in your world. If you feel something is off, you are probably right. If you feel people aren’t getting your child, they probably aren’t. Trust your gut and follow your parental instincts.
They don’t listen to criticism about their parenting skills
No one lives in your shoes. No one fully understands the inner workings of your child more than you. Therefore people can be way off with their criticisms of your parenting skills. Take what you hear with a grain of salt. Remember those on the outside looking in don’t have a clear view of the situation.
They set clear parenting intentions for themselves
What are your parental intentions? Do you strive to make sure your children are well taken care of? Is your goal to raise independent, responsible kids? Do you want to parent without getting angry?
Every parent has different goals and intentions for how they parent. What are your goals? Set clear expectations for yourself, but not too many. List your top three goals and wake up each morning with the intention to meet that standard, whatever that might be. Just don’t list a gazillion goals or you’ll feel like a failure before your morning cup of coffee.
They understand they’ll have bad days
Every parent has bad days. Every parent has days where they feel they’ve really messed up. The key is to pick yourself up instead of repeatedly kicking yourself when you are down. Be as forgiving with yourself as you are with others. Tell yourself tomorrow is a brand new day. Tomorrow you will start fresh again.
They see their parental role is to teach
How you view parenting will make or break you. When you view parenting as teaching, your patience grows and your interactions with your children improve. With every boundary that is pushed comes a lesson. With every rule that is broken, comes a discussion. When you parent in that way, you tend to not take behavior personally, you see it as a time to help your child grow.
Parenting skills are about perspective
Good parenting skills aren’t about your amazing approaches or the incredibly cool things you do for your kids. It is about how you view parenting. It is about your inner dialogue. Are you constantly picking yourself up or tearing yourself down?
How do you keep a positive attitude while parenting? Leave a comment and let us know. Do you know parents who could benefit from this perspective? Share this article with them.
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