Nobody ever thinks it can happen to them. Nobody thinks they know a child predator. Until it is too late.

Child grooming. Learn the signs. Protect your kids. A Must-Read for anyone with children. Helps along with body safety.

Child predators are not some strangers in a dark alley. They are  people we all know. They are our friends, our relatives, our kid’s coaches. The best way to keep your kids safe is to learn their tactics. Ignorance and naiveté is dangerous in this situation.

Child predators are not strangers in dark alleys. They are your friends, your relatives, the coach on your kid's team. The best way to protect your kids is to not be in denial. Learn their tactics and keep your kids safe.


The most important step in grooming a child is to gain the trust of those around them. Predators are skilled at taking on the attributes of a “good guy” and that is unfair to the REAL good guys among us. Before they even meet their victim – Predators often place themselves in a position of trust. They seek out roles that place them around children. They ingratiate themselves into your life and into your routine. Predators are often patient and they will take months or years building up the trust with those around them.


Once the predator has established a role in your life and has gained your trust – they take things one step further. They might offer to do you favors or bring gifts and treats for your children. They appear extremely helpful and friendly. They may be playful and silly with your children, but they are careful to not be overly attentive to your children in your presence.


By now the predator has gained your complete trust and approval. Your child knows you trust them – so they trust them too. It is at this point the predator’s goal is to isolate your child. They might offer to babysit, give your child a ride, tutor them or give them extra coaching. The predator continues to work on the child’s trust and tries to develop a “special” bond with the them.


You may get comfortable leaving your child alone with this “good guy.” Your child is always eager to go with them and they seem happy upon returning. It may be at this point that the predator starts to touch your child. At first it may be a tickle fight – where the predator “accidentally” touches the child’s private parts. The sexual contact will progress from there.


Young children may not understand what the predator is doing. They may not know they are being abused. The predator might convince them that they are playing a secret game or have a secret bond. Older kids may think they are “special” or have a relationship with the predator that no one else would understand. Some kids are told that no one would believe them or worse – that their family will be hurt if they tell.


-Look for these warning signs.

-Understand that no role or position exempts a person from being a predator.

-If something feels wrong in your gut

– trust your instincts. -Keep the communication open between you and your child.

-Talk to your child about their time away from you.

-Talk to your child about sexual abuse and arm them with knowledge.


OTHER ARTICLES:  Ask the Child Therapist Episode 78 Kid Edition: The Biggest Lie Child OCD Tells Kids: You Can Stop Bad Things From Happening

I recently came across another therapist who offers an e-course to walk parents through completely safe guarding their technology. There are so many ways we can protect our kids if we just knew how! His wealth of knowledge is super helpful! You can learn more about his course here at iparent 101: Safety in the Digital Age.


If you haven’t already, check out my other articles and on childhood sexual abuse: Are you Teaching your Toddler Skills to Prevent Sexual Abuse

Knowledge is power. Spread the word. Share with others.

Take my video lessons on how to prevent sexual abuse. Click here to get started.



For further information, support and guidance visit the U.S Department of Justice’s NSOPW website at

For more articles on teaching body safety follow Anxious Toddlers Pinterest board:

Follow Anxious Toddlers’s board TODDLER Body Safety on Pinterest.

28 responses to “5 Things Every Parent Should Know About Child Predators. #1. You Already Know Him.”

  1. Suzi T says:

    Scary topic but one which unfortunately needs to be faced. Great article.

    • Natasha Daniels says:

      Thanks Suzi – it is a scary topic, but hopefully it will help someone.

      • Joe Kohan says:

        Hi Natasha, I am not a therapist but still a professional. I am a LEO. I have been trained though to recognize and get professional assistance for those in need. I have found with my experience that I am helping a lot of single divorced or separated women. They are usually vulnerable emotionally with self esteem issues. In my profession I encounter many of them who come to trust me. I find that I can only educate them so much and prefer to recommend them to trained therapists/counselors. Thank you so much for highlighting some of the tricks of predators. May I copy this article, and do you have any recommendations for further reading.

      • Mikki says:

        I think this article was helpful and I didn’t scroll too far into the comments to check if anyone brought this up, but I feel it is also important to not automatically assume the perpetrator is a man. In the interest of our children, we need to inform them that they need to be careful of women as well. Thank you.

  2. Danielle says:

    This post NEEDS to be shared everywhere. Parents tend to be very trusting of people they know, not realizing that anyone could be a predator, not just strangers. Thank you for posting this! #TurnItUpTuesday

    • Natasha Daniels says:

      I agree Danielle. It is a shame we have to watch out for this, but that is the reality of our world. Thanks for stopping by.

  3. Mama, My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows says:

    Very important and informative. Thanks for sharing.

  4. Michele Spirn says:

    Important article about a subject we all need to be aware of. Good tips.

  5. My Bored Toddler says:

    Thanks for sharing – a very important topic that doesn’t get a lot of coverage.

  6. […] how to spot when someone is grooming your child for […]

  7. […] Teach your child to notice the warning signs of sexual abuse . Learn how to spot when someone is grooming your child for abuse […]

  8. Misty says:

    Terrifying. I hadn’t realized until reason this that I was being groom as a teen by a neighbor…. =(

    • Natasha Daniels says:

      Sorry to hear that Misty. Grooming can be hard to detect at times. I hope all turned out okay in the end.

      • Misty says:

        He got me trapped in my parents bedroom one day while nobody was home except my dad and I. I was at the computer online and he started hugging and kissing on me. It was one of those computer chairs with the arm rests, so I was trapped between the chair and the desk. My dad was mowing the grass and noticed he had gone inside the house. So he killed the mower and came inside and screamed for me. Jim (that was his name) came running out of the bedroom. Then I came out. My dad asked me what he was doing in there and I said “just keep him out of here!” Wouldn’t tell him what happened. When my mom and twin got home later, my dad told my mom about it and that I wouldn’t tell him anything. So she came in to talk to me. I never wore those clothes again. I couldn’t bring myself to. And I took the longest shower after that and then bleached the clothes. I just wanted him off of me. He didn’t get any further than kissing on my face and hugging me. But it took a VERY long time to ever be able to trust a man again. I didn’t date for about 5 years after that. I thought he had ruined me.

        I’ve found that I heal more and more the more I talk about it. He never went to jail or anything. I never did anything about it. Now I wish I had. Because what if he is doing this to another teenager? ?

        • Natasha Daniels says:

          Thank you for sharing your story Misty. Hopefully it will help other parents and kids. I am sorry you had to go through that.

  9. Natasha Daniels says:

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. Other people can learn from what happened to you. Thankfully your gut instinct kept you safe!

  10. Joe Kohan says:

    You were very much one of the lucky ones. You can see though firsthand how these people capitalize on situations. Opportunistic Sociopaths who can’t wait for each succession to reinforce their corrupt, contaminated, and distorted minds.

  11. […] I will always trust my gut from now on. I will not care if other people think I am paranoid or overreacting. I will not worry about hurting other people’s feelings. I will react. I will protect. […]

  12. […] parents have another reason to worry about these apps. Child predators often use disappearing messaging apps to target […]

  13. […] to tediously develop a relationship with you and your child to groom your child for sexual abuse (although that still happens). Now, they can befriend your child in the comfort of their own living room – and you can sit […]

  14. […] pedophiles will incorporate games and special nicknames for private parts to manipulate children. Sexually abused kids will often […]

  15. […] who have been victims of sexual abuse. Many of them are under five years old. Almost all of them knew their perpetrator and more often than not – it is another kid! Yes – another […]

  16. Jasmine says:

    Don’t forget ‘he’ could be a ‘she’ (approx 5% of victims report being sexually assaulted by a female) so don’t disregard a child’s concerns about a person just because that person is female.

  17. Worriedmom says:

    Thank you for the informative information. This has definitely confirmed my suspicion about a husband of a friend who befriended my 4 year old daughter. My instinct tells me something is wrong but I kept brushing it off thinking he gets along with children since he is a father to a young child and has multiple grandchildren of his own. But I found it suspicious when I tried to relate to him but he seemed more interested in my daughter. He had played tickle games, piggy back and had shown a lot of love and attention and even seen him gently rubbing her back and kissed her. Since then, I decided to cut relationship to avoid potential abuse and protect my sacred daughter.

  18. Esteban says:

    You left an important one out: many mothers actively hawk their daughters (and sometimes sons) to predators for money or drugs, only to have the kids returned to their care by claiming that they are victims of the predatory men. At present, there is no safeguard against these people because the stigma against *suggesting* that women are at fault in these situations prevents almost all discussion of it. But it is REAL.

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