Your child screams, “I hate you!” She rolls her eyes and tells you, “No!” You feel your composure slipping away as she spits out her final words. In one fell swoop she has made you feel enraged and completely ineffective. You wonder, where did I go wrong? And why on earth does she feel she can talk back to me?
You tell your child to pick up their clothes and they crumble to the ground. “Why are you shouting at me!” They exclaim. Seriously? You just asked them to pick up their clothes. It seems like you can’t even redirect your anxious kid without them imploding. So what are you supposed to do? Not discipline? Walk on eggshells? Is that helpful or hurtful to them long-term?
It started about a month ago. My daughter came home from school and wanted a “fidget spinner.” She thought it might help with her anxiety. I had heard of fidget toys, but never a fidget spinner. As a child therapist I am normally ahead of the curve with kid crazes, but not this one.
In this episode I talk about the overlap between sensory processing issues and child anxiety. Many anxious children also have sensory issues as well.
Your child is doing it again. They are walking in a weird pattern. They are paralyzed in front of the sink. They are asking the same question over and over again, and you can’t make them stop. You’ve poured over all the typical parenting books, but this chapter is definitely missing. What are you supposed to do? How are you supposed to help your child get unstuck? It is painful to watch any child with OCD, but when it’s your own, it’s excruciating.
It sounds like World War 3 in the other room. Words are flying. Fists are flying. You hope one of your offspring will survive. The sound of my kids fighting is like nails to the chalkboard. “Make it stop!” I plead to no one in particular. Even if I said it out loud, I doubt any of them would be able to hear me over the blood curdling screams.
In this episode of the AT Parenting Survival Podcast we talk about the many “good” things we do as parents that can actually hurt a child’s self-confidence and self-esteem. Here are five of them and what to do instead!
“But mama I no want to go…” your child pleads with you, his bottom lip puffed out for effect.
“You have to go,” you firmly state.
“Noooo. I don’t wannnnt toooo!” Your child whines.
You know what will happen next. You’ve done this dance before. And frankly, you are tired of dancing. You want your child to stop whining. You want your child to talk like he isn’t still in diapers. You can’t stomach anymore baby talk and the whining is slowly crushing your soul. “Make it stop!” You scream silently in your head.
It is that time again. Didn’t we just do this twenty-four hours ago? Your heart starts to beat a bit faster as you prepare for the nightly battle that is about to ensue. Getting your kids to do homework is akin to getting your wisdom teeth pulled and frankly – you rather skip both. “I don’t want to do it!” your daughter screams. “That’s not how she taught us! You don’t get it.” complains your son. Since when did getting your kids to do homework become such a ridiculous chore? Don’t let homework battles destroy your family’s peace. Wave the white flag and take a break to watch this.
One of the biggest parenting issues I see in my therapy practice is sleep problems. Children are often afraid at bedtime. Learn what works and what doesn’t!
We all want our kids to be the best version of themselves. Sometimes we want this so badly, we inadvertently create the opposite. Sometimes we need to take a step back and assess our own behavior. Learn what you should do and what you shouldn’t do! Also, explore self esteem activities for kids that actually works!
Do your kids shutdown when they’re upset? Teaching feelings and emotional intelligence to kids isn’t always a nice thing to do, for some it is a necessity.