It sounds like World War 3 in the other room. Words are flying. Fists are flying. You hope one of your offspring will survive. The sound of my kids fighting is like nails to the chalkboard. “Make it stop!” I plead to no one in particular. Even if I said it out loud, I doubt any of them would be able to hear me over the blood curdling screams.
“But mama I no want to go…” your child pleads with you, his bottom lip puffed out for effect.
“You have to go,” you firmly state.
“Noooo. I don’t wannnnt toooo!” Your child whines.
You know what will happen next. You’ve done this dance before. And frankly, you are tired of dancing. You want your child to stop whining. You want your child to talk like he isn’t still in diapers. You can’t stomach anymore baby talk and the whining is slowly crushing your soul. “Make it stop!” You scream silently in your head.
It is that time again. Didn’t we just do this twenty-four hours ago? Your heart starts to beat a bit faster as you prepare for the nightly battle that is about to ensue. Getting your kids to do homework is akin to getting your wisdom teeth pulled and frankly – you rather skip both. “I don’t want to do it!” your daughter screams. “That’s not how she taught us! You don’t get it.” complains your son. Since when did getting your kids to do homework become such a ridiculous chore? Don’t let homework battles destroy your family’s peace. Wave the white flag and take a break to watch this.
We all want our kids to be the best version of themselves. Sometimes we want this so badly, we inadvertently create the opposite. Sometimes we need to take a step back and assess our own behavior. Learn what you should do and what you shouldn’t do! Also, explore self esteem activities for kids that actually works!
Do your kids shutdown when they’re upset? Teaching feelings and emotional intelligence to kids isn’t always a nice thing to do, for some it is a necessity.
You think you’ve got it covered. You check your kid’s phone occasionally. You’ve had the “talk” about using technology. You even look at their text messages once in a while. You are good, right? Wrong. Kids are flooding into my office with secrets. Secrets that you don’t know about. Secrets that would give you a mini-heart attack. Secrets you need to know.
Do you wonder how to get on the same page, or at least look like you do in front of your kids? Couples need to learn how to disagree over parenting in a more productive fashion. They need to learn how to put away their claws and fight over parenting out of ear shot of their kids. When couples can’t come together on how to parent there is only one person who suffers… the child. Put down your daggers and agree to a temporary peace offering while you watch this video.
Moves happen. Life happens. But family moves don’t have to traumatize your child. Family moves don’t have to be forever ingrained in their memory as the worst childhood experience ever. It all depends on how you approach it.
They sit on the therapy couch pouring out their deepest, darkest parenting secrets. They look away. They don’t make eye contact. They wait for my judgment. They wait for the lecture they are sure will come.
What are you supposed to do if your kids fight? Are you destined to listen to that bickering forever or can you do do something to help their relationship? There are some things that we as parents can do to decrease the frequency of how often our kids fight. We can take some subtle steps to improve their bond. Here are a few.
I watch my seven-year-old son wring his hands. “But I am not going to have enough time!” He cries. He just got home from school. “Time for what?” I ask. “Time to play outside. Time to play on my tablet. Time to eat a snack…” He rambles on. He has four hours until bedtime. He has nowhere to be and a five-minute worksheet to complete. His worry is irrational. He constantly obsesses about time. And he is not alone, anxious kids pour into my office week after week complaining about the same thing – time.
When your kids forget their homework, are you quick to rush home and hand deliver it? When your kids have an argument with their best friend are you immediately on the phone with their mom trying to reach a resolution? How often are you rescuing your kids? As parents, we don’t want to see our children fail. We don’t want them to experience the pain we had to go through. We want to rescue them from the mistakes we made. But what if our well-intentioned behaviors have the opposite effect? What if it actually has the power to harm our children and make them ill-prepared for life?
Ask most kids nowadays what their favorite TV show is and most will tell you their favorite YouTube channel. Kids aren’t watching TV like we did growing up, they are watching YouTube. Now I am not going to be an old fuddy-duddy and tell you how back in my day we swung from trees and didn’t have our head down staring at a screen. But what I am going to tell you is why I am talking about YouTube in my therapy practice way more often than I would like and why it is a conversation I need to have with all of you. I am also going to tell you why you need to discover Kid YouTube and you need to discover it fast!