Interview with a Toddler Stalker

In this rare and exclusive interview, we finally get to talk to a toddler stalker and hear what he has to say about his mother’s accusations!

This is hilarious! I have a toddler stalker at home for sure!
Reporter: Your mother calls you a toddler stalker. What do you have to say about that?

TS: What mom calls her kid a toddler stalker? I mean seriously! Isn’t that just a bit inappropriate. I think she needs to google other appropriate parenting terms for her first born?

Reporter: Your mother says she sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night and finds you hovering over her face, watching her breath?

TS: Well, that just makes it sound all creepy! Can’t a boy watch his mom? Look, sometimes I like a little cuddle at night. Is there anything wrong with that?!

Reporter: Your mother says during her day you follow her around and watch her every move?

TS: I will admit, I watch her. I follow her. I don’t let that woman out of my sight! I have seen her try and sneak away to do the laundry or to make a phone call. We can’t have that. I need her complete focus and attention. She thinks I don’t notice when she’s backing away from me quietly moving into the other room – I notice.

Reporter: She says you don’t even let her have friends? When she’s on the phone you scream and shout and make her get off. When she takes you to go over to her friend’s house, you don’t leave her side?

TS: Some might see that as a bit excessive, but look, she’s my mom – not theirs. People just need to back away from my momma. I may need her. What if I want a drink? She needs to be available – that’s all. I don’t like her talking to other people. What do they have that I don’t? She only needs me.

Reporter: She says you won’t even let her go into the bathroom alone?

TS: Did she tell you she goes alone anyway?! Even though I tell her not to. Even though I cry and scream. I try and reach her under the door. Sometimes I can see her toes through the crack of the door. I know she’s in there.

Reporter: She says you won’t even let her shower alone – is that true too?!

TS: Look, I am a conservationist. Should we waste all that water. I need to be clean too. Doesn’t it make sense that we should just shower together. I am looking out for the world here people! How about a little support!

Reporter: Your mom says when she tries to escape – I mean go out – you sabotage this and prevent her from leaving?

TS: You make it out like she’s a prisoner in her own home. That’s ridiculous. Do I like my mom’s company – yes. Do I prefer she stay with me – yes. Do I feel like she has no business ever leaving me – of course. Is that wrong – I don’t think so. She thinks she can give me a picture of her and a kiss in both my hands and I will be okay without her. I don’t think so lady!

Reporter: Well, that’s all the time we have for today. Stay tuned for part 2 next week, when we discuss what interventions to take to help your toddler stalker.

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17 responses to “Interview with a Toddler Stalker”

  1. Julie says:

    Ha what a great interview! Yea, that kind of does make the toddler sound a bit on the creepy side, but hopefully he’ll grow out of the clingy stage.

  2. Oh my goodness, this makes it sound like so much fun. I remember my oldest who is now 17 following me all over the place. She would stalk me like a cat after its prey. I would turn around and there she would be. To the point where I once referred to her as if she were those twins out of that scary movie “The Shining”…. Seriously!!! Also she would take her little flash light and shine it under the bathroom door and yell out “How is it going in there? Did it all come out well?” Disturbing at best….
    BritishMumUSA recently posted…HATEMy Profile

    • Natasha Daniels says:

      That is too funny! I especially like the comparison to the Shining. Sometimes you just gotta laugh at this stuff!

  3. This made me laugh so hard. “Well, that just makes it sound all creepy!” My own children have all scared me half to death by sidling silently into my room at night and either whispering “Mom!” in my ear – or worse, not saying anything at all I wake to find them just staring at me!

    • Natasha Daniels says:

      Mine too! My 3 year old has a habit of staring over me at 5 in the morning. Nothing like waking up screaming!

  4. Gayle says:

    Love it!
    I have Toddler Triplets so I have 3 little Stalkers, who won’t let me leave the room! I also often get woken in the night by one of them complaining that they can’t get into my bed…….because the other two have already snuck in without waking me up!!!!
    Gayle recently posted…Give Happy, Live Happy – Has Volunteering helped you to “Live Happy”? -Interview.My Profile

  5. Very clever post! Something all parents can relate to.

  6. […] where he defended and explained his “stalkish” behavior. If you missed it you can check it out here. This week, we are moving towards reforming our toddler stalkers. Below are 5 steps to take to help […]

  7. Michele Spirn says:

    I love this! While my son was not a stalker, I was an anxious parent. I would have loved to have expert advice given to me in such a clever, caring yet light-hearted manner.

  8. Steven says:

    Brilliant format of what it is like to be the toddler and the parent. So accurate and very funny to boot.
    Can’t wait to read the next blog.
    Natasha must be an extraordinary therapist for the whole family.

  9. This is great! Spot on with the toddlers in my house! Made me smile tonight and i am sharing Natasha! Happy Mothers Day!!!

  10. […] Interview with a Toddler Stalker […]

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