17 Signs Pokémon Go Has Hijacked Your Family
You can’t go anywhere without the tell-tale signs of Pokémon Go.
Dazed, zombie-like people staring at their screens as they walk into walls. Large groups of people huddled around random spots in the park, silently staring at their phones. Cars slowing down in the middle of the street to make sure they get one last spin at a Poke Stop.
I can’t mock the game. Pokémon Go has hijacked my family. My kids are obsessed. My husband thinks I am obsessed. The Pokémon fever can infect your family rather quickly.
Here are 17 ways you can tell your family has been hijacked by Pokémon Go:
1. You know where every Poke Stop and Gym are located within a 5-mile radius of your house – and you visit them frequently.
2. When your kids say they ran out of balls, you know they are talking about the red and white variety.
3. When people in your family say they are going to the gym, you know they aren’t talking about exercise.
4. It takes you twenty minutes to run a five-minute errand.
5. You don’t want to admit it, but you have sat in your car waiting for a Poke Stop to recharge.
6. Your kids no longer fight over toys, they fight over who gets to use the last Pokémon ball.
7. Your kids are walking in circles around your dining room table.
8. Hearing things like, “There is a Pokémon on your head” is a normal statement at your house.
9. Your phone’s camera is full of family photos with strange Pokémon characters photo bombing you.
10. Your kids want to know how many miles are in a kilometer – and they hate math.
11. When your kids complain they need five more candies, you know they aren’t talking about Skittles.
12. You stopped letting your toddler play the game because they were wasting too many balls.
13. Your data plan is used up in two days instead of the usual thirty.
14. Your kids want to go for a walk.
15. You now keep a charger in your car at all times.
16. When you tell your kids they are going to the zoo they get excited about how many Pokémon they can catch.
17. Your kids claim to see invisible snakes and bats and you aren’t dragging them to a psychiatrist.
Don’t know what the heck I am talking about? Pat yourself on the back, you’ve managed to avoid the biggest craze since the hunt for the golden ticket in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – and that wasn’t even real! Then again, Pokémon Go isn’t either. Although, try telling that to my kids!
Are your kids crazed by Pokemon Go? Tell us what it is like at your house in the comments below.
Know someone who would appreciate Pokemon Go humor? Share this article with them!
Do you know an anxious teen? Give them the only self-help book teens are likely to read: