23 Ways Parents Undermine Each Other

You loved his eyes. He loved your laugh. You talked about growing old together – having kids together. You seemed to agree on everything.


That is until the kids showed up.

When parents undermine each other's parenting they send mixed messages to their child. Does undermining happen at your house? Take the quiz to find out!

Now you feel like parenting has become a battle of wills. Disagreeing on parenting isn’t just bad for marriages – it’s bad for kids too.


Guess what happens to your parenting when you and your partner undermine each other? It goes out the window. Your child learns to not take either of you seriously. They learn great manipulation skills – because it works. They learn that no doesn’t always mean no.


But the worst part about it is they miss out on having a wonderful bond with both parents. Two people – who in a perfect word – have much to offer their child in their own unique way.


Parents undermine each other for many reasons. Perhaps it has to do with their childhood or your childhood? Or maybe there is a problem deep rooted in the marriage itself. Whatever the reason – getting on the same page is critical for your children’s ongoing success.


If you are undermining your partner because you fear the intensity of their anger or aggression towards you or your children – that is a different issue entirely and should be addressed with the help of a couple’s counselor.


Not sure if there is undermining going on in your house? Take this quiz and see how you score.


Not sure if there is undermining going on in your house? Take this quiz and see how you score.

So, how did you do? How did your partner do? 

Check your quiz results

Yes to 0-9 Questions:

Looks like you and your partner are doing great! Couples are not going to see eye to eye on everything, but the big picture looks bright!


Yes to 10-18 Questions:


A little trouble in paradise. Looks like maybe you and your partner could benefit from a good conversation on how to stay on the same page and appear aligned in front of the kids.


Yes to 19-23 Questions:


Yikes! Someone sound the alarm. It is time for a major parental overhaul. Getting undermined or undermining this much is not good for the kids. Consider seeking out the advice and support of a couple’s counselor to right the ship and get back on track.

For more help click on the below topics:

What to do When you Disagree on Parenting
Parenting Tips for Effective Discipline
11 Warning Signs of Negative Parenting
5 Big Parenting Mistakes Your Kids Hate
Top 20 Parenting Mistakes by a Family Psychologist
21 Meaningful Things for Dads and Daughters to do Together 


Have tips or insight for other parents? Leave a comment and share your knowledge!


Know some parents who could benefit from taking this quiz? Share this article with them!

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2 responses to “23 Ways Parents Undermine Each Other”

  1. […] don’t want to give you ammunition for a lovers quarrel, but if your partner is undoing all of your awesome parenting, your consequences aren’t going to […]

  2. […] Kids love to play parents against each other. It is your job to not allow that to happen. Regardless of any disagreements you and your partner might have, be united in front of the children. […]

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